Cockney Rhyming Slang

This really doesn't have anything to do with life in Japan, but I doubt it would ever have taken place if I didn't live here.

I recently had an interesting conversation with a fellow ALT in Hida, who is originally from England. He was teaching me about the nearly intelligible dialect of Cockney Rhyming Slang. Something which, prior to this conversation, I didn't even realize existed. And I'm still not entirely sure why it does, ha ha ha

ALT
cockney rhyming slang is where you substitute things for words when they rhyme
but not just anything
and i have no idea why
so apples and pears is stairs

Me
apples and pears together are stairs?

ALT
so you say "she fell down the apples and pears"!

Me
ha ha ha
how the heck did apples and pears become stairs?

ALT
i have no idea!
and "midnight kiss" is piss
and a funny one i found the other day is piano is joanna
so in london people with strong accents say piana

Me
well that's romantic

ALT
erm, dunno about romantic

Me
;)

ALT
cockneys aren't really the romantic types

Me
ha ha ha
i dunno

ALT
they are more like scallies

Me
giving someone a nice sweet piss...

ALT
he he he

Me
or do i have that backwards?
go take a midnight kiss?

ALT
lol, the other way round!!!

Me
ha ha ha ha ha

ALT
yeah, to take a midnight kiss

Me
ha ha ha ha
i totally don't get it
but it's making me laugh

ALT
like, "hold me brew, i'm gonna take a midnight kiss"
i have no clue why cockney rhyming slang exists

Me
to confuse other people?

ALT
just geezers with too much time on their hands